What Do You Want?

cropped-ramonagravitar.jpgOnce a month, I attend a Writing as Healing class at a local hospital. Writing as Healing is a journaling course and part of a popular Wellness program. The growth of Wellness courses, and the philosophy of Wellness in general, is an acknowledgment that, alongside the technical parts in medicine, an approach to patient care should include guidance for a positive approach to living.

Wellness means integrating the mind as well as the body—the whole person—for a healthy lifestyle. Journaling can contribute to that. Writing gives a patient, or a person, the power of expression. Writing out thoughts about a health experience not only allows the patient to address that experience, it creates a record of it. It may be a private record; that is the writer’s decision. When a person is ill or has a disease, it can be difficult to feel in power, to know the right decisions. An ongoing theme in the course is power and control over our health and lives. Writing can be helpful in the search for power when Wellness seems impossible or treatment is overwhelming.

The Writing as Healing course is held in the very large hospital’s very large cancer center, but anyone is welcomed to participate. “Anyone” means you can be someone who is ill, who has recovered from an illness, who is caretaking for someone with an illness, or who lost someone to an illness. Anyone. And everyone.

I fit into the “anyone” category, but I don’t have cancer, and I am not a cancer survivor. Most of the people in the course are. The first thing I learned in this course is, when you take a writing course in a cancer center, you become acutely aware of your status as outsider. Lucky outsider. Very, very lucky outsider. In one of the early sessions, the course leader reminded us that, while we sit in our nice classroom on the 1st floor near the piano and the library and the meditation room, upstairs on the 4th floor are people being told life-changing diagnoses. Some of those diagnoses are positive. Some are not. It is sobering to know that, if I had x-ray vision and could see up through three ceilings above, I could watch someone hear words that changes her life.

See why I feel lucky?

My perspective on many things has changed since this monthly, 2-hour course began, but the course is not about luck, nor is this post. This post is about examining your life.


In the past months, we’ve journaled about joy, fear, anger, and forgiveness. The November theme was gratitude.

What’s shared between participants in the Writing as Healing classroom is private, but the course leader has generously allowed me to post our November exercise. The following comes via Dr. Joan DelFattore, an author and now-retired professor from University of Delaware’s English department. The purpose is to have you think about want—what you want, when you want it, and why you want it.

An aside: When Joan said the exercise was about “want,” my writer ears perked up. How many times have we-as-writers discussed what our protagonist really wants in a story? If you are so inclined, try this exercise on a character. It may be illuminating.

What Do You Want?

Ahead, you will examine yourself at various ages in your life, decade by decade. Begin by recalling yourself as a 10 year old. Picture your home and daily life, friends, family, activities. For each decade, spent a moment placing yourself back in time before answering the questions.

Answer the following, remembering that you are your 10-year-old self:

  1. Where are you living?
  2. Who do you live with?
  3. What is your primary occupation?
  4. What do you do for fun?
  5. Who do you hang out with?
  6. What do you want more than anything else?

Now answer this same set of 6 questions as your 20-year-old self, your 30-year-old self, your 40-year-old self, until you reach your present decade. Answer one more set as your age today.

When you have answered for all decades of your life, plus today, examine your responses. Focus on #6. What do you see? Did you ever get the thing you wanted most when you were 10, or 40? Is there any link between your wants as a child and your wants as an adult? How much do you still want the things you wanted in the past? Did your wants change or stay the same?

What is the thing you want more than anything else, right now, today?

End of exercise.

You’ll notice there is no “how are you going to get it” after the last question. No follow-up action is required. That’s not what this exercise is about. Today, asking the question is what counts.

You might wonder how an exercise about wanting fits in with the monthly theme of gratitude. There are no right or wrong responses in the Writing as Healing course. There is no simple way to feel grateful when you are battling for your life or health—and no requirement to even try. The benefit of Wellness, and of writing, is in asking the questions about our lives. Questioning, and writing about it, gives us a small measure of control. Today, it’s enough to know what you want.

You Can Tell a Lot about a Person

cropped-ramonagravitar.jpgLife is a never ending quest. That quest means different things to different people, and some of us have more than one quest. I’m one of those people.

I am constantly on the search for three things: blog post topics, writing prompts, and character studies.

(What, you thought this was going to be about the meaning of life or something? I’m a writer, not a philosopher.) Continue reading “You Can Tell a Lot about a Person”

The Bonus Army


November 11 is Veterans Day, also known as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day. November 11 has been celebrated since 1918 to commemorate the armistice that brought an end to the War to End All Wars. The belief—the idealistic hope borne from misery—was that World War I was so full of horrors, men would choose never to repeat it.

Pause to think about how wonderful that would be. Imagine if the Great War had taught mankind to settle differences peacefully, if leaders had learned that, in war, there are no real victors.

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.  ~Jeanette Rankin Continue reading “The Bonus Army”

11 Pre-NaNoWriMo Exercises

cropped-ramonagravitar.jpgNovember means turkey and dressing, autumnal colors and falling leaves, parades and football games, and National Novel Writing Month.

For the writers who are bravely preparing to sit down and pound out 50,000 words in 30 days, below are just shy of a dozen ideas to help you warm up and examine your story.

Pre-NaNoWriMo Writing Exercises Continue reading “11 Pre-NaNoWriMo Exercises”

The Very Good Reason

Ramona DeFelice Long:

An excellent explanation of the VGR by Barbara Ross at the Wicked Cozy Author blog.

Originally posted on Wicked Cozy Authors:

by Barb, still recovering from her knee replacement, but getting stronger everyday

Hi. Barb here and today I want to talk about that point where plot and character meet–where it becomes apparent to your sleuth that he or she is the only one who can solve the mystery, bring the guilty to justice, or even, save the world (if you’re writing a thriller.)

I’m talking about the Very Good Reason (or VGR).

I first heard about the Very Good Reason in a course taught by writer, editor and teacher extraordinaire, Ramona DeFelice Long. For the amateur sleuth, the Very Good Reason is why she gets proactively involved in (and not just caught up in) the investigation. For a thriller with an everyman or everywoman protagonist, the Very Good Reason is the reason they don’t just call the FBI, the CIA, the Pentagon, etc and be done with it. After…

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13 Books for Space Junkies

cropped-ramonagravitar.jpgThe planet Mars has been in the news lately: Water discovered on Mars! Matt Damon stranded on Mars!  Some stories are true and some are fiction, but with discoveries and blockbusters comes hope for a new dawn for space-related books-to-film. That’s excellent for dreamers who look at a starry, starry night and imagine all the possibilities of travel, inhabitance, and fiction. Continue reading “13 Books for Space Junkies”

The United States of Arts

NEA 50 years

Happy Birthday, NEA!

50 years ago this week, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the National Foundation on the Arts and the Humanities Act, which created the National Endowment for the Humanities and the National Endowment for the Arts. These two independent federal agencies fund, promote, educate, and encourage communities to provide creative opportunities for projects and people devoted to our nation’s arts and humanities.

To celebrate its 50th birthday, the NEA invited artists throughout the country to share how their lives have been enriched by art. The interactive map United States of Arts shares those stories. I’m pleased to represent Delaware with Senator Chris Coons. Click on Delaware’s little icon (you can find it a little to the right of DC’s star) to see his video and read my story, or go directly to my page.

The NEA is the largest annual national funder of the arts in the country, and its support is granted to individual artists as well as through partnerships with states, arts agencies, and public and private organizations. The NEA’s grants promote dance, translation, visual arts, literature, music, opera, theatre, and media arts. Special initiatives include Poetry Out Loud and Blue Star Museums.

After I submitted my arts story for consideration, the NEA created the cool poster below using my opening quote. It was shared on social media, and I am sharing it here. I am honored and thrilled to appear on the United States of Arts map and to have a public opportunity to thank the NEA and the agencies it support for their encouragement and help. It is most appreciated.